Dear Mr. Sunshine

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I told you

You are like the sun

Showing light where light is needed especially in the dark, darkest of places

And bringing light from within you to the surface of other faces

Illuminating what’s already beautiful

Even in the most unappreciated cases

Establishing light to the unexpected

Which then you completely erase the expected with your sunray traces

And for one girl, you bring about the most dramatic of changes

And she understands what real sunshine is because of his

Light will show her to the right places

how a single source of light can be distributed into so many different places

And how energy can fill up even the biggest of the seemingly empty spaces

How your warmth can travel even to the far, farthest of the distances

I see

In the center of your eyes,

There lies a story of the sun’s contrasting phases

Undeniably

Beautiful.

Madman’s Game

Olympus 35 RC, Arista Premium 400 San Francisco, CA March 23rd, 2009

I have loved in vain

and it lead me to feel such pain

I had to come to accept

for I have gained

something beyond

what words could explain

The Unnamed

which I have contained

in my heart. as a reminder that

I didn’t restrain

my heart from feeling

and I let it free

from its usual terrain

It can’t be contained

and rather,

to my surprise

it was well maintained

Take

careful steps

for freedom brings upon leaps

and the memory keeps

our lows and the peaks

and the pain will become

a beautiful stain

it’s only possible

in this mad man’s game

Prelude to Love

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Your voice rooted in each word

Even between the empty spaces

I relived our moments through your eyes

And they have opened me to magical places

How crazy!

That my heartbeat beats in your control

And how your universe makes mine whole

Past the infatuation

I feel each sensation…

Of your love..

Carried through the blood of my veins

No taste of bitterness remains

I re-feel your touch against my skin

The warmth of love will always linger within

The light that shines in you

supports the meaning to my truth

Discovering me

In discovering you…

There you were

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There you were

Beneath the shades of the ripened leaves

Somehow, your footsteps found its way back to me

The world spinning madly

But your gravity holds me ever so tightly

Planted on the root of that peculiar tree

You were there, locked in time with me

How many faces have passed on by..

Countless of sunsets have lit the skies..

Since the moment of our last goodbye

I was shy and resisted that one reply

Now I dive into your forgiving eyes

Glazed over with the afternoon sky

Your hands gently resting on mine

Once more, the two familiar eyes aligned

But you were there through all these times

In the passing breeze and in each star that shined

And now, next to me, you are here

Only to make the ambiguous disappear

I’ll always remember

This moment under the tree together

Between the leaves, the sun peaked through

The world became a stage for me and you

I Forgive You

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I forgive you

No matter where your heart has been

At your failed attempts to begin

For exhausting your time

And for taking what was mine

For the course of your life

The battle scars of strife

Taking the place of others

Hiding in the shadows of colors

For moments of isolation

and all your failed relations

For misplaced and perplexed feelings…

It refrained your heart from healing.

I forgive you.

For you are a reflection of me

And what binds me to you are written in our stars, inevitably

Under the name of Love, we must learn to forgive.

For the absence of forgiveness, we forget how to live.

Our Beautiful Earth

Oh my beauty,

In your open arms I fall.

With felicity,

You caress me

And your gravity

holds me

Infinitely

You are my guide

My muse

My moonrise

And high above those open skies

a glaze of beauty

Drapes my eyes

The crash

of dust and thunder

and the sighing sea,

plays upon a rhythm

and recites its story

Oh, love of mine,

Embrace me entirely.

For you give me life

in each air that I breathe.

Captivate my soul

And become a part of me

Predictable Milestones

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My fear

For the first half of my life, I was so afraid. Afraid that I wouldn’t blend in or that I would constantly be misplaced in life. I felt that I was trying to elevate myself to where I was supposed to be. I was always standing below looking up at the pathways of life; the pathways carved by the billions of footsteps before my time. The set milestones and sequences of life: that was my destination.

But now, I feel quite the opposite. In fact, I am so afraid that my life will turn into nothing more than a sequence of predictable milestones? Wearing the same hats, obeying to the given situations at the right time and place. Is the fear holding me back from actually enjoying each process? How can this arrangement be right for everyone?

Happiness is happiness. Arguably the thing we all want to achieve in life. Some might even go as far as to say that it is the prominent thing we must achieve in life. If we are happy at what we do and where we are in life, shouldn’t that be enough to keep us going on the pathway?

Is that happiness or a delusion? A delusion in a sense that we are predisposed to feel this “happiness” because we have achieved something that we were set up to achieve. How genuine can our feelings be?

Is that all life comes down to? And if not, what will my life become?

On my quest to find what’s important in my life, I discovered this fear…

But I know one thing: fears stem from a significant place in our hearts. They must be acknowledged and conquered in its own unique way.

I am not the product of my predictable milestones nor will I ever allow myself to become just that. Each day will be greeted with a smile and the surrendered memories of yesterdays. I will find pieces of myself in each moment and in people who will have passed through my life. I think it’s beyond striving on the unpredictability of life, but to appreciate each moment for what it is. How tedious life would be if we had it all figured out by the stories we have passed onto each other. Life is a treasure to be discovered and rediscovered with new eyes each time.

Purple Person

Someone who is so magical…it makes every moment with them seem like an eternity. Their thoughts align with their heart, but their words may not always find its way out to this world. But you know, there is so much more, deeper and rooted within them: Like the color purple. How many purple persons are there in the world? how many will I encounter in my lifetime?

Interpretive Dance HOF 2

You

Intertwined

Inside wrapped

So deep, so bold

Mixed and complex

Tangled

Molded

And Dissoluble

You

Within

A rhythm and a song

But only

Coiled words

Twisted and complex

Skin so thin

But so rigid, so dense

Terrains immerge

You

Purple person

So deep, so infused

Who could ever dive so deep?

Stranded in your eyes

Knotted in every strand of hair

Path to core

Takes a thousand leaps

The Writer

Camus

How beautiful that one can be so invested in something that they love. How wonderful that one can enjoy every aspect of this life and more. How truly grateful I am that an accumulation of words can make me feel new sensations each time. When I read something truly great, beyond the content, I begin to wonder about person behind those words:

He created a world from within

Gave a story to each character

A struggle and a dream

They carried his pain

And broke his chains

They existed to merely entertain

He lived in each character

And planted seeds in them

He connected the worlds

Made bridges with his words

Alliterations, metaphors and wordplay

It was a way to secure their stay

Every inch of him shined through

They were the light

They revealed the truth

The truth

Of his skin

Of his within

What a beautiful dream it seemed

Relationships, communities and cities

His mind finally at ease

Oh how witty!

Witty

That he was

Something so small

Started out as humor

Grew on him like an English ivy

Wrapped his mind in security

Gave depth to his life

And made it a bit heavy

His thoughts invested

Trusted and Adjusted

To a new part of him

To which he gave birth

It was the most intimate place on earth

Fear

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There it was

creeping beside her

closer and closer

as she takes a step back

it takes over

a world trying to show her

revealing her exposure

the doubts in her head

of everything she had said

her words being tested

relentlessly infested

in her brain

countless of hesitations

trying to collect pieces of this situation

how she had come to this exact moment:

the moment’s revelation

And she said, “no more”

Face to face

she felt much stronger

as she saw the face of her opponent

as a separate component

and it was this instant

she had chosen

then an image was suddenly broken

a surprise

that the shattered pieces didn’t hurt her

then her heartbeat a bit slower

she looked over her shoulder

to find it was already over